So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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