Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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