these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
