did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
