if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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