I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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