some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
