just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
