he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
