Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
