well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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