I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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