I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
