would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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