From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
