Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
