it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
