I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
