Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

Fav 50 6982 1756
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(817): View more from Texas

I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.

Fav 14 4707 1200
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(214): View more from Texas

Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.

Fav 11 2829 1339
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(408): View more from California

We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.

Fav 5 2701 1421
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(515): View more from Iowa

your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.

Fav 5 1013 1889
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(713): View more from Texas

You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".

Fav 3 1500 812
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(917): View more from New York City

Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.

Fav 1 126 62
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(970): View more from Colorado

Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....

Fav 0 8 31
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