Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
