im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
