So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
