So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
