How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
