also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
