is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
