Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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