Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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