so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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