Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
