Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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