Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
