She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
