it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
