you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
