the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
