Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
