I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
