is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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