Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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