butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
