I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
