So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
