im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
