Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
