went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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