Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
