i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
