Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
