Me. At least after what I've been through.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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